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mariofirstperson_cs_0310My self-esteem must be pretty low that I started doubting my own existence very recently.  Actually it’s not even about self esteem. It’s about the questions that I started to shoot myself since the beginning of 2013. This time it’s not about death. Instead it’s about birth.

My problem is that I started realizing there’s not enough data that can prove that I was actually and clinically born out of my mother’s birth cannel. In that case, You, also, don’t have that too. It’s sad that You cannot prove that you were born without depending on the information that the people around you provide you.

Firstly, We didn’t have a chance to remember our lives in mother’s womb. Not even in the third trimester or either the seconds you’ve been pushed out into the world, you’d never remember. But of course there’s a foto album containing your first hospital days, your first steps or your 1st birthday party and moreover , your birth certificates  seems pretty official. So lots of people don’t bother. They don’t question about the things which they think they already had the answers. But what if the answers weren’t true since the beginning? What if everything you think you know is just what “They” want you to think?

Do you remember the first day you recognized your own existence? What if it never happened at all in the real world and it’s just a fragment of made-up memory that was uploaded into your brain? Let’s talk about the video game called “Temple run” shall we? The runner we chose as our character in the game wasn’t born from anyone but that wasn’t his problem. When the game starts , he has to run the shit out of himself in that never ending loop without knowing why. Ring any bell? Look at us. Look at our daily lives. Do we actually know why we have to do the shits we are doing everyday? What if we are in a giant game like that? I know you get this all the time esply these days. “life is a videogame hypothesis are everywhere on internet. So you might think this blog is just another spam telling you to like a bookstore link or forcing you to enroll a silly online cult which sends you 2000067456 mails per day. But no. fuck no.

Let’s say there was a boy who’s preparing a science project? He wrote a simulated computer program or he started  a chemistry lab project . And he set some voltage wrong or there’s an error in that program he’s been running but the  school dismissed and he went back home. But what if  the mess he made in the lab leads to a tiny bigbang  producing life that become us? What if this is all gonna end when he comes back to school after weekends? In that case we wouldn’t even know who the fuck that reckless boy is. Because he is something  out of our knowledge. Everything we experience in life is limited by our senses and perceptions. We don’t know shit beyond that. For example, the gold fish in the glassbox on your shelf wouldn’t  know the expire date of the last condom pack you bought last Sunday. Even if you explain him what an expire date, a condom and Sunday is there’s no way the poor gold fish can get you. Because they have not enough database to build and visualize the things you mentioned to them.

We are almost the same as that gold fish in 3” x 8″ tank. So what if you’re just an avatar being used by something what is so much bigger than us and so much beyond our reality? They made you. They chose you as a character of the game they play or the show they watch everyday? If they do that, of course they’ll make you think that you were born and you had parents. It would be so easy for them to do so. They just need to install  a few bits of memory in ur brain. If they wanted to start playing you as an 8th grader, they’ll start playing you right away from 8th grade age. You popped up in the world and you found yourself in a high school writing notes , surrounded by some friends you seemed to know them since preschool. Then when the school bells rang, your parents , two other characters they already synced as your parents come and pick u up and…… there you go. The game successfully started! The next day you have exams at school and a girl next room asked you to take her out as a prom date.

See what I mean? We have shit loads to deal with everyday and these things look so real that makes us think we are real.

A recent neurological  experiment shows that our brains knows what you’re doing in next 6 seconds. The incredible six seconds. And some scientists noted that brain is just a receiver that receives the signals from an “unknown source”. What source? Fuck if I know.

So let’s say, you’re in an ice cream shop, confusing what to choose between two flavors,  then suddenly you chose a certain flavor. You think you made that decision spontaneously but no. Your brain has picked the flavor you chose 6,7 seconds ago while you were thinking of it. So it’s obvious that “the field” or the “Source” or whatever it is, it wants you to think that you have free will.

Some of you might say “this is bull shit, I pulled out my daughter out of my wife’s vagina by myself, she is real!!” but trust me I pulled out one myself already and will pull out another one soon. But that doesn’t mean that the same theory applied in your case. This too is a part of the scenario.

End of message.

Sorry for partyrocking.