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Well, lets talk about God. Not any God. My God. My kinda God. Not your biblical God or any of these “Gods” which you’ve ever heard of or read about in texts. This is MY God. Ever heard of the term “oh my God”? Yea.. it’s about time you take that term seriously and respect it!So you can just shut up and listen. Or read. (Smiley face)

I wrote smiley face because I can’t find the emoji button on my keypad. My phone is china made. So it sucks.

Ok. My God.
It’s not your God. So it might be a bit or a whole lot different from yours. Your God is all about loving, caring, healing, resurrecting and all that but mine doesn’t give a shit. Yep. She doesn’t give a shit. Yes. She. Why she? Cos look around bro! See all these women? Guys are nothing but natural born slaves to them. All animals, insects,..even us, human beings. We’re all the same. We work for them. We are forced to work for them in fact. From stone age to now. We fought with mammoths and fucking dinosaurs to bring food back to caves so that we could feed the female kind of us who own the power to multiply some other little random slave_males like us or sometimes females like themselves and, who alone own the power to take care of those little ones properly. Of course we hit them on the head and dragged them to our caves first but hey that’s how stuffs worked back then. And look now? Any difference? The only difference is that now a days we don’t hit them on the head with clubs anymore and we bring cash back home instead of freshly killed random edible raw meats. Thanks to the butchery companies.
Anyways, my God, she must have created females in her resemblance. That’s why they are naturally superior to us males. They can shut us down just with their appearances, especially when a guy falls for a certain girl. We love them. So we spontaneously and willingly do shits for them at the end of the day. So, my God is a female. You have to deal with it and suck it right up, cos it’s ma God!

By the way, my God’s on drugs. She’s high as fuck. Like really tripping balls except she might not have any balls to begin with. We’re in her trippy dream.
She’s having a super mind trip and we’re all in this. She’s all of us. She’s in us. She’s experiencing everything through us. As us. Why? Because she can. She just fucking can. Look at the galaxies, spirals helix, DNA, jelly fish, coastal reefs, flowers, peanut butter, musical notes, frequencies, spectrums, northern lights and fuckin grand canyon! Quite trippy or what? She’s enjoying it from our view.We are in her dream and she knows it doesn’t matter to her because it’s all just a dream to her after all. We will be ended once she woke up. That’s why she doesn’t give a shit whatever shit you do. Cause there’s a system called karma in this dream of hers. It’s the random consequences of your actions. Once you start doing an action, even the small acts like blinking or smiling at someone, there certainly will be a series of follow_up consequences which lead to other millions of multiple random subconsequences that can end up good or bad. But then again, actions are based on thoughts. Thoughts initiate the actions. By the time you started thinking of something or doing something, karma is waiting to throw random shits back at ya in the future.
So yea, she doesn’t need to care about a single thing, ‘Cause it’s all a bunch of random happenings to her. Good or bad. Moreover , she’s not the one who’s responsible for your actions. You are. There’s a little loop_hole she inserted in you just to make her work guilt_free_easy.
She gave you free will. It’s installed in you since day 1. You make the choices. Not her. She’s just watching these series of neverending consequences you started and can never finish until you die, probably with some popcorn cups in her hands.And remember? She’s in you. Your dreams are like her dreams withing her another bigger dream. If you die, she dies with you, then you and her  both wake up again and realize that too was just a part of the dream in another bigger dream of God herself, and you guys will have a laugh together and will try to jump down into another dreams within the domain dream. That’s my God. She won’t judge you for shits you’ve done, not because she loves you, but because she doesn’t give a fuck. There’s no sin. There’s no good and bad in her eyes. So there’ll be no hell or heaven in her realm. 

Now at least one guy on earth believed in this crazy hippie chick_God of mine so far. I’m not gonna try and tell you to believe in it but I can prove my God’s for real as much as y’all can prove yours.


Die! and that’s it

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Have you ever thought of “why am I trapped in this body?” while staring at yourself in the mirror. Or even “how did I get here?” or “is it even my body?” Since I was four feet tall, I had this kinda strange thinkings. I’d sit in front of the bathroom mirror for 15 minutes and started wondering “this is not me. This kid appearing on the other side of mirror, he’s not me. ‘I’ am inside him! I’m trapped. I didn’t choose this body.” and worst of all, knowing that I’ll be dragged along wherever this guy’s going, whatever the guy in the mirror’s doing, scared the seven shades of crap out of me and always ended up shaking my head side to side quickly just to shake off this scary happening. Time passed by and now I’m 30. But that particular feeling won’t go away. It’s still haunting me, not every time I look into the mirrors but occasionally it does come back in my head and i still have to shake it off of my head. Why was I scared of myself? Because it definitely isn’t me or myself. If there’s a company making lives, there must be two departments for assembling this process. One makes bodies and the other, SOULS. They don’t get along sometime the bodies and souls. At least not all the time. However, I’m having even worst thoughts now a days. Let’s say we’re trapped in this body, can’t get out, we are destined to serve this bloody good for nothing bodies which give us pain, hunger, toothache, cancer, herpes and all that shits. But it all seems fine compared to my new dreadful assumings.

What if our souls are gonna be still trapped even after the bodies died?

Well , it sounds a bit more serious , doesn’t it? What if the bodies are temporary and minds or souls are forever? Think about it,..you’re dead, someone cover your body with white cloth, put you in a locker of that freezing room along with other bodies and you can still feel every single detail. You can hear your relatives and spouse crying beside you and a minute later you are locked in a cold metal box knowing that there could be another unknown dead body lying in the box beside yours. Then may be they’ll cut-open your belly and chest for post-mortem examinations without any kind of anesthesia. They think you’re dead, in fact you are, but not as dead as you should be and you can still sense every cut and suture. I can keep on writing more details but I’m sure you got the figure. So let’s say they finally burry you, leave you alone in the dark coffin six feet underground, go back home and watch TV while ur body’s probably eaten by worms. I’ve gone too far. You and I both know that there’s no one to assure you this isn’t gonna happen nor true. What if it’s what they call “hell’? There’s no way you can know what’s gonna happen after you die unless you die. And by the time you are dead, it’s too late right? So it comes to my senses that the meaning of life is just to forget about your death while you’re living it because thinking about death and such terrible things everyday is just not right. Life’s something in between one problem and another while death is one of the problems you’ll surely meet. But trying to accept it is not as easy as it seems cause you believed this is your body after all. With or without your will, You’ve taken it. You picked it up and you’ll let it go. Its hard to let something go especially when it’s the body you’ve carried around for decades. For me, it’s not the body which I don’t wanna let go. It’s the MEMORIES I perceived along with this very body that I’m obsessed with. The sights I’ve seen, the smells I smelled, the people I’ve met and even loved.,,they are all too much to let go. After all, it’s just a tiny memory bit saved up in a corner of your head but it takes us a lifetime to reach that far.

I wish I could finish this essay with a bit more pleasant ending but I can’t. Like it or not we’re in this already. It sucks that soul and body come as a package. Not sure which one captured which first, but we are the victims of the stupid process as we noticed it. All the answers seem blur and undefined. Nothing is concrete. We are floating and will keep on floating. So let’s hope there’s nothing after death. Death alone is sick enough already right?What can possibly be worse than that? Toothache? Like it or not, It is our duty to keep our minds and bodies stay in harmony before we die. Life is a gift and death is unexceptional. They come in pairs. You don’t know how you got in but you surely know you’ll get out one day. Living could be a struggle but then again dying ain’t that hot either. Too bad our choices are ridiculously limited. But people said “better out than in” didn’t they?